Well, I see these days many couples coming together and falling apart. The moments they spend together are the ones they really want to cherish but the moment they fall apart, different games of blaming and naming starts. Their inept handling of the relationship is seen by latter part of it. Some are easy and can move on but some create a hell out of the other person’s life. I happen to meet one such couple.
The boy and the girl were insanely in love with each other. Their love grew with time and no longer was the time when they were in a relationship. The whole chemistry between them was going so wonderfully well when one day, they found out that things were not happening the way that ought to happen and maybe it was time for them to just fall apart. Both of them wanted to stay but something wasn’t letting them be together. They both said each other, “I’ve given my everything: physically, mentally, emotionally, socially and economically to make this relation work but it’s not getting through, I leave this up to you!” I always wondered that how could it not work when they had actually given their everything? Yes, they had given time, emotions, love, care, trust and every such thing to the other person. Then what was lacking?
Well, I realised that the efforts they were putting was in the wrong direction. It is not about what they gave each other; it was about what they had for themselves! They reciprocated the positives but the same is not meant to do for the negatives. When one gave other happiness, the other reciprocated. When it was about love, trust, time, care and everything that can make a fairy tale come true, they did reciprocate. Well, the problem starts when the odds start to reciprocate. When one broke the heart of the other, they again, “reciprocated”. Whether it was heartbreak, ditching, anger, ego and all the stones in the devil’s box, they actually “reciprocated”!!!
An antidote to venom is surely the venom but you can’t open a lock with a lock! That is the thing which is important to understand! You should always reciprocate the goods for a healthy relationship but when it comes to odds, you should complement the other one. A feeling of guilt can’t be mitigated by making the other person guilty, it can be only perished by forgiveness. An anger followed by a mistake can be cooled not by anger but apology.
It is not about giving everything to the other person, it is about giving everything up for the second person that makes love last forever. The simple difference that is between giving everything and giving up everything is exactly the same between being “me” and being “us”. Remember, it is the love you need to surrender to and not the person. When you give love a chance, you give a chance to yourself.